Good Pain and Good Grief

When thinking about pain, it has a negative connotation with it. Pain is bad, pain is this horrible feeling that we never want to feel which creates this fear of it coming into our life. In relation to grief, pain is what comes with grieving. Therefore, that comes with fear and negative thoughts. However, when reading Michael Cholbi “Finding the Good in Grief”, he challenges that belief by arguing that pain is a “much more complicated context than we recognized”.  
Pain is valued as an essential to humans, we must feel pain. A lot of people have a bad feeling about pain therefore when it comes, they don’t have a good experience. This is because if you believe that the pain you will feel during grief or just feeling pain in general will be horrible, then that pain will be. According to Cholbi, pain must be associated with a positive attitude. Once it is, pain won’t be that awful feeling that we all dread of experiencing. This is something Cholbi calls a good pain. Pain that is there but feels good instead of bad like we imagine.  
The same thing can be said about grief, if you have a positive look on grief, then it won’t be as awful as we think it will be. Then, when grief comes, we will recognize it therefore we won’t be grieving for a long time and the process will be quicker. This shows that grief and pain don’t always have to be such a bad thing.  

Comments

  1. Ashley SarkodeeFebruary 25, 2019 at 10:32 AM

    The reason why pain has a negative connotation with it is because it hurts. We as humans do not like things that bring us pain. Pain coincides with grief. Pain while grieving comes with a positive connotation. Pain is this emotional release that comes when we lose a loved one. It helps the with the grieving process psychologically and sometimes physically. From a psychological aspect, it helps with the acceptance part of the grieving process.

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  2. Hannah PilatApril 17, 2019 at 10:21 AM

    I agree with Cholbi and that there is a good pain and bad pain. Thinking positively will gain in good pain. Expecting the unexpected aids in a cushion to the pain. Thinking of grief in a positive light gives us, as humans, the fact and understanding that greif will happen. Similar to how death will happen, grief of others will happen. Being able to accept the fact of grief will give us the chance to experience the grieving process in a positive light.

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