Grief and Pushing through the Pain

Grief is an emotion that we all as humans will experience when we lose someone that we care about.  At times, grief may feel like an overwhelming feeling that will never subside, but is it possible to think that some good can come out of the pain of grief?  Michael Cholbi likens the trial of grief to that of the pain of a runner or athlete training for an event in the way that sometimes pain is necessary to achieve the desired result.  According to Cholbi, the pain of grief is something that we have to work through to get the better result.  To me, the better result may not be that your sadness or pain from loss completely goes away, but how you grow as a person from this difficult experience.
     Grief can cause many people to sink or swim, but it is what you take away from this experience that shapes the very person that you want to be.  Say your wonderful mom dies and you are wrought with anger and frustration that someone so great could be taken from you in such a swift way.  Do you chose to live in anger and sadness over this horrible loss that has occurred in your life, or do you choose to take the great things that your mom has taught you over the course of your life and apply them more diligently now to honor her memory?
     Grief is a confusing and oftentimes painful topic with many outcomes for how people choose to take it.  Whether you choose to wallow in self pity and pretend that the world is crashing down all around you or take the valuable things that that person has bestowed upon you is entirely up to each individual.  Life is full character defining moments and each person must decide whether they want to get through the pain of grief to the other side or wallow in it forever.   

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  1. Hanna GutalaFebruary 18, 2019 at 3:24 PM

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  2. Hanna GutalaFebruary 18, 2019 at 3:26 PM

    I agree with your argument that the pain and emotions you feel during grief can help you grow in the long run. When we think of pain, it has a negative connotation with it. Pain is bad, pain is this horrible thing that we are so fearful of and don't talk about so we don't have to experience it. Then, when that pain comes into our life, it comes at us in full force and it feels like the end of the world and we don't know what to do with ourselves during it. I think the scenario of feeling pain during physical activity that Cholbi uses is perfect because it shows pain in a positive image. You will feel pain during running or training however it is a good pain. The reason why we like that pain is because we associate it with a positive attitude. Relating this to grief, if you believe that the pain you will feel during it will be awful, then it will be when it happens. We have to acknowledge that death is going to come, so instead of stopping our life over it and making us feel awful emotions, we move forward and use the feelings we have for ourselves or our loved ones to move forward to whatever is next.

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