Pieces of Death
Doughty says that cutting up your fear of death into slices can help tackle the fear altogether. She says that if you do not address the specific fears you have about death, the entire thing will be too overwhelming to handle. She lists different fears one might have about death, and then lists ways one can go about feeling better about the specific fears. Personally, I am most afraid of the grief my friends and family would feel after my death, and the pain that could come along with the process of dying. I do like the Idea of writing letters to loved ones so that I know that the last experience they have with me could be positive, and hopefully help ease any of their regrets they might have had related to me. Her suggestion for the fear of pain was to have conversations with your family and doctors about how while you are in the process of dying, you do not want a ton of medical intervention. This helps moderately because it does guarantee less pain in death, but I do not know how much pain the “less” is coming from. The process of dying could still be agonizing for all I know. Altogether, Doughty’s suggestions did help in one way or another, and I do feel that tackling the fear of death in pieces is easier than tackling it as a whole.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteFor further reference for you, in this video on the fear of death, Doughty provides a list of seven coping mechanisms to help you overcome the fear of death and (or) dying. The coping mechanism that you are referencing from her was #2 on her list. And in order to clarify the main point that she is making here in regards to thinking about how we can write notes to loved ones before we die in order to find consolation for ourselves by way of feeling better through resolution, I would say that she does not agree with what you say about how writing notes to loved ones guarantees less pain while dying. It is true that it might cause some to experience less emotional suffering. But I think what she is trying to convey is that by doing this, it can help certain people to cope. Conversely, others might have more emotional suffering if they cause themselves to even think about their fear or try and resolve it in anyway. For some people, distracting the mind with the present moment by simply trying to avoid pain, like how Epicurus suggests, might help more!
~Joshua
Hey,
ReplyDeleteI do concur with all you said. We cannot know for sure that the pain will be less. Doughty's video helps a lot and doing this also helped me. The only reason we speak about these things is because we are curious and do not know the outcome. Doughty's is only a suggestion that may or may not help. It is okay to think the process of death itself will be agonizing because nobody knows how they go out. It may be peaceful or not peaceful, but trying Doughty's suggestion couldn't hurt.
-Gideon
I also believe Doughty was right to say we need to divide our fear of death like a pizza and not just because I am hungry. The idea that I can find closure on that which bothers me most about dying and help my family through the pain of my own death then it makes it a little easier to go. While I want the last experience they have with me to be a good one, I don't think letters are the way to do that, I would want to be there in person while I can and make a day to remember. I don't like the concept of not using medical intervention, it feels kind of like giving up, even if I'm in pain I wanna fight for every second I can.
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