How to Fix Our Shame About Death and Our Distance from Death
One of the central arguments of From Here to Eternity that Caitlin Doughty reveals to be a core philosophy of hers about death that developed over her whole life, certainly including the events of the book, is that" we are not beholden to our distance from and shame around death. The first step to fixing the problem is to show up, to be present and engaged." That is, she believes that, to address our shame around death and our distance from death, it is crucial that we be "present and engaged," by which we can assume she means present around death; allowing proximity and intimacy with it, and engaged in the process involved with death and mourning. These interpretations are supported by the passage that follows the above quote, which describes Japanese, Spanish, and Mexican families being present and engaged with death in their mourning. From the Mexican families and their ofrendas to the compost piles in Worth Carolina in which some people have elected to be buried, each chapter describes people being 'present and engaged' with death.
In the final conclusive statements of the book, at the end of the epilogue, Doughty discusses how, after all she has been through with regards to death, she thinks she would actually feel comfortable with her mother's dead body "precisely because [she] would be held. The [Indonesian] ritual involves pulling someone I loved, and thus my outgrip into the light of day. "Greeting my mother, alongside my neighbors and family--my community standing next to one in support. Sunlight is the best disinfectant, they say. Wo matter what it takes, the hard work begins for the West to haul our fear, shame, and grief surrounding death out into the disinfecting light of the sun." The "disinfecting light of the sun" symbolizes our collective attention, recognition, and validation of death and its importance.
Doughty's position is that the healthiest attitude to have toward death is one of openness and active engagement. I would agree with this, but I also endorse, to as great an extent as is practically possible, however, is that we maintain as Stoic a relationship with death as we can when not being directly confronted with it; there are too many other things to be done before we die to become too preoccupied with death. All the same, however, Doughty makes a good point that removing the shame and some of the fear with openness may aid the grieving process.
In the final conclusive statements of the book, at the end of the epilogue, Doughty discusses how, after all she has been through with regards to death, she thinks she would actually feel comfortable with her mother's dead body "precisely because [she] would be held. The [Indonesian] ritual involves pulling someone I loved, and thus my outgrip into the light of day. "Greeting my mother, alongside my neighbors and family--my community standing next to one in support. Sunlight is the best disinfectant, they say. Wo matter what it takes, the hard work begins for the West to haul our fear, shame, and grief surrounding death out into the disinfecting light of the sun." The "disinfecting light of the sun" symbolizes our collective attention, recognition, and validation of death and its importance.
Doughty's position is that the healthiest attitude to have toward death is one of openness and active engagement. I would agree with this, but I also endorse, to as great an extent as is practically possible, however, is that we maintain as Stoic a relationship with death as we can when not being directly confronted with it; there are too many other things to be done before we die to become too preoccupied with death. All the same, however, Doughty makes a good point that removing the shame and some of the fear with openness may aid the grieving process.
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